Just finished my last day of my high school career. Now all I have to do is pass three finals & I’ll be graduating. Damn. I’m really gonna miss you, PREP.
I hate it whenever my girlfriend & I can’t talk on the phone at night. This summer, my goal is to help her just relax & not to worry about everything so much. Especially when she plans. Most of the times the plans that we make fall through anyways. By “most of the time” I really mean that our so called ‘plans’ have never went the way that we wanted it too & we’d just have to do something completely different. So I’m really going to attempt to help her enjoy each day & not worry about all the little details of life. I feel like this will be good for our relationship. This whole thing of us releasing our stress on each other & not being able to talk on the phone at night because we’re too tired is really frustrating for me. People don’t realize how much I actually love my girlfriend. Yes, I may vent sometimes on here about it but I mostly vent to my friends or family. They hear how frustrated I become & yet most of my guy friends say to give her the backhand or some variation of male dominance. But, honestly, I don’t want to have full control of our relationship. I want one where both boyfriend & girlfriend have the opportunity to have control in a certain area of the relationship. But most of all, I don’t want a relationship where we fight/argue during the day & make up at night before we go to bed. I love making my girl happy at all times of the day, but when she’s stressed, I’m stressed. Then I don’t know what to do about it because she gets me aggravated when she doesn’t have that much patience due to her stress level. Oh well. I need to suck it up & toughen it out for her. Basically, I just want her to know that I’m trying my best. And I don’t even know how to do that. Summer just needs to come fast.
What an amazing day. God is great ! I had such an amazing time singing with the choir for Youth Sunday. It was such a joy to see how talented all of my friends are & how they use their gifts for the glory of God. It’s inspiring & touching. Today, I’ve realized that I need to do the same. God doesn’t give people gifts so that they can show off on earth. He gives those gifts to people whom He has preordained plans for. He gives you all of the gifts in the world for you to take & share with others. Ask yourself this question: Are you willing to use your gifts in the way that God intends ? If not, start.
“What we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.”
I went on an Open House with my girlfriend at my future college; Seton Hall University. If anyone else is going there message me ! But it was a great time. I love the entire school & I think the campus is beautiful. She loved it too. She just wasn’t too thrilled to hear that one building available for freshman to dorm in had co-ed floors… Oh well. Last thing, I hit a car trying to park -.- the parking spaces are mad small. What do you want me to do ? Haha
My girlfriend is mad at me. So, today I got home from school early & both of us were supposed to sing on the worship team at church tonight. But, it got cancelled & she was still at work while I was just getting home. When we realized it was cancelled, she asked me if I wanted to hang out. I said yes, but when she asked what I wanted to do, I replied “Idk.” Huge mistake. She soon got frustrated & mad at me because I didn’t take initiative to figuring out what we could do. Of course I want to hang out. You’re my girlfriend. I just don’t always know what to do. I’m sorry. This gets me frustrated. But I do feel bad. Anyone wanna help me figure out a cute way to make it up to her ?
Don’t have school tomorrow, yay :) but, I have a lot to do on my day off. I’m attempting to become a better person all around.
Check list to becoming a better person:
1. Gain a better relationship with God
- This means pray often & earnestly. Read His word & live it out daily. Be an example for others to follow. And above all else, keep Him as your #1 throughout every little thing that happens in your life. Yes, that means above your loved one.
2. Be a hard worker in everything that you do
- No matter how big or small a task is, do it with all your heart. As cliche as it is, you do only live once & you can’t have any repeats. This means that if you mess up now, you’ll pay for it in the future. Become a hard worker now & it will pay off in the future. Men, you must be diligent now so that you can support your families & ensure that they live comfortably in the future.
3. Have a better, positive attitude
- Doing all this work will be stressful, but it is key to look at the road ahead & be thankful for how far you’ve come instead of how far you have to go. Looking forward & getting intimidated by what the future has in store is setting yourself for failure.
It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these, but here goes…
So far the past few weeks has been extremely great for me. I’ve gotten my acceptance to Seton Hall University for the school of nursing. That was the most joyful letter that I have received because I want to become a nurse so badly. Both my parents are nurses & I feel that I would really thrive as a nurse as well. I shall be attending college there next fall & joining me will be my best friend, Dan Bulay.
This point in my life, my relationship with my girlfriend is at an all time high, in my opinion. There is no doubt in my mind that I can go to her for anything & everything. It all started in like March. We weren’t doing too hot. We had been arguing with each other constantly & weren’t as “lovey” as we were before. Things seemed to have changed & I began questioning whether or not she was thinking the same thing. As it turned out, she did. I wasn’t so sure up to what extent she had been thinking about it, but I was too afraid to ask in fear of what her response would be. Our moods fluctuated with the events occurring around us & I thought things would get better once my acceptance to Seton Hall rolled in. You see, she had been stressing out about what college I would attend next year because she’s a grade below me. So, like any wonderful girlfriend would, she kept getting worried that I’d go far away & even got frustrated/upset at me once I told her that I was most likely attending Richard Stockton down in south Jersey; a good 3 hours away. But once I got my acceptance to Seton Hall, I thought things would cool over & be alright. Wrong. We still argued about pointless things & we were both tired of each other. Yet, throughout all of it, I knew that we still loved each other. It was then that I realized what I had been doing. All of this had been my fault. We, both being Christians, put God before anything; even if that means before our loved ones. But I wasn’t doing so. I thought that I could solve things by myself & that I could figure this all out. Once again, I was wrong. Swallowing my pride, I did what everyone should do no matter if they’re in a relationship or not; pray to God. I began praying, asking Him what I needed to do in order to fix this, for His help within our relationship. I then knew that I had to be the man that He needed me to be in this relationship, & the man she needs for me to be in this world. It happened three days ago. I wasn’t feeling like myself still. But that’s when things changed. Out of the blue, I texted my baby during our daily conversation, interrupting the one at hand, to tell her how I felt. I told her that I need to spend more time with God. I need for us to put Him in the center of our relationship once more. I need for her to help me & nudge me whenever I’m slacking & forget to spend time with our Lord & Savior. Now, I don’t text her “Good morning” until I read my devotional at 5:45 in the morning & pray to Him asking for his protection & guidance throughout my day. I don’t begin our nightly phone calls without first reading my bible & taking time to ponder what His message is for me in the word. I don’t hang up the phone at night before one of us prays together. Now, I’d say our relationship is the strongest it’s ever been. And I’m so excited to see what it’ll be like in the future. I love you, babygirl <3
God is Good. Everything has started to look up for me. I’ve been keeping a steady schedule & getting back into the groove of things. I’ve been putting God first & everything else seems to just fall in place. I’ve even gotten word that I may be able to go to a missions trip this summer to Panama if I can raise enough money ! I’ve been talking to my great friend about it & she says that she’s super excited to go & I want to go with her ! We’ve been very good friends ever since we were little. I was glad that I got to speak with her today. Whenever we say hi, she always says that she’s “doing okay” . . But today she said she was good ! And that makes me happy. Also, I got to speak to my friend, Amanda, and she’s just adorable. She always brightens up my day because she loves hugs & I love hugs too.
Last but not least, my grand-father. Rodolfo Mazo Sr. He passed away on April 19, 2010. Sadly, that is the date of my birth as well. April 19, 1994. He is the most amazing person I have ever met. Such a strong man for God & an incredible husband & father to his family. I loved him so much. I hate the fact that he’s gone, but love the fact that I get to say every year on this date is the day when he’s celebrates his reunion with the Lord. I aspire to be just a fraction of the man he was. I cannot thank him enough for what he’s done. Because of him, my dad is the way he is & my father raised my brother & I to become the men that we are today. I love you so much, Papa Dolfo. May you continue to watch over us. I can’t wait until the day when I re-join you up in Heaven with our Lord.